Part 4: Let's Start Easy-Three Ways to Change and Distinguishing Between Emotional Hunger

Let's start easily

Okay, let's get started. Stress eating can happen at any time-today, tomorrow, next week. You have to be prepared before it happens. Even if you know what you can do when you're bored (instead of eating), it's hard to actually do it. Getting up from your recliner or closing the cookie tin is difficult, even though you know it will do you good. If this sounds like the challenge you're currently facing, you can consider three different ways to deal with it: start by making changes with mindfulness, take it one step at a time, and commit immediately. You can even combine these three methods in a pattern that works for you.

Change begins with mindfulness.

You can see a lot of things simply by observing.

- Yogi Bella

For most people, mindfulness techniques are a great way to start a new behavior because they don't require much effort. Initially, you don't even need to change your behavior. This is why many people are able to get started with mindfulness techniques easily. Before you begin, remember that finding a non-food method to comfort yourself is an ongoing process. Don't pressure yourself, don't rush, and proceed at your own pace.

The first step is conscious observation. At this stage, do not try to avoid or cut off your comfort eating. Your only task is to focus all your attention on your eating patterns and habits. For at least a week (or longer if you need more time), observe and track only the reasons you use food for comfort. Write down the signals that drive you to eat. You can do this in many ways, but the best way is to keep a journal while reading this book.

What kind of environment makes you most susceptible? What specific emotions are you experiencing? Do you exhibit these behaviors at the same time every day? Observe yourself holistically, understand your patterns, and gain a deeper understanding of yourself. You might be surprised to learn that simply paying close attention to yourself can eliminate your emotional eating. There's really nothing surprising about that. Imagine how hard you work when your boss is in the same room as you, and you'll understand. You can't possibly work 100% when no one is watching you (not even yourself).

Once you are more aware of why you seek comfort in food, you can move on to the next stage: adopting more mindfulness. Pay close attention to your emotions and body at all times. If you feel the urge to comfort yourself with food, acknowledge that feeling honestly. Observe it, but don't succumb to it. Make sure you write down this urge in a journal. Then read the mindfulness exercises in this book.

Mindfulness techniques are helpful for most people. Another way to start is to take it one small step at a time.

One small step at a time

We can't do everything at once, but we can do some things at once.

- Calvin Coolidge

Shaping is another way to achieve behavior change. This method involves developing small steps to achieve the behavior you want to adopt. For example, when you feel the urge to eat emotionally, pick up your journal and write down what's bothering you. You already know that using healthy coping techniques is a better approach than eating. But you don't feel the desire to use these techniques. You know what you want to do, but for some reason, you don't actually do it.

In this situation, you should consider motivating yourself through behavior shaping. Shaping is a behavior modification technique. It helps you achieve a new behavior through meaningful, progressive steps that bring you closer to the behavior you want. First, focus on the behavior you need to focus on. For example, take out a piece of paper and quickly jot down some notes; complete sentences aren't necessary, just some words or phrases. Any idea is a good start. Afterward, you can stick this paper into your journal. You can even quickly jot down some words on your calendar.

After completing these small journal entries, you might want to reward yourself with a small, non-food-based reward. Rewarding yourself is a form of reinforcement. Reinforcement is an effective way to increase the behavior you desire. You don't always need to give yourself a tangible reward, such as a new lipstick, a magazine, or a cup of coffee. For example, you can allow yourself to sleep in for an extra ten minutes in the morning or take a relaxing bubble bath. Sometimes, effective reinforcement also comes from the positive mood that initiates the change.

The key point to understand now is that you don't have to perfectly employ self-soothing methods. You just need to do something close to the behavior you want to exhibit. If taking small steps is too slow for you, you can try the method described below, which involves achieving a leap of faith.

Immediately invest

Stop talking, start doing.

--LM Eru

"Immediate action" means doing the desired behavior right away, not gradually, but completely at once. The idea is that the more you use a new skill you want to acquire, the more accustomed you become to it. When you need to use it, it becomes more familiar, comfortable, and easier to achieve.

Practicing a new comforting behavior is the best option for many. However, we often hesitate too long before doing it to derive pleasure from the action. In reality, we feel good just from doing it for a short while. Therefore, initially using the new self-soothing methods described in this book may feel unnatural or uncomfortable. In fact, it may feel quite strange.

Let's return to the journaling example we mentioned earlier. However, here, instead of writing gradually and slowly, we're immediately taking out your journal and writing for ten minutes-even if you don't enjoy the task. In most cases, once you start, you'll enjoy what you're doing. Exercise is often like that. Many people say they never enjoy going to the gym. However, after an hour of exercising, they feel great and enjoy the workout. Over time, using this new self-soothing method can become a daily habit, just like exercising.

Once you've eliminated the self-soothing tactic of using food, you can praise yourself as much as possible. You can even tell your friends, family, or anyone who will praise your achievements. You can consider rewarding yourself. But remember, you must reduce the rewards of emotional eating.

To make these techniques a habit, create a list of self-soothing techniques you'd like to try. Track your successes and write down how you reward yourself. If you're the type who needs tangible rewards rather than verbal ones, put a small label next to each new behavior you engage in, writing down the material reward you desire.

"Immediate engagement" can help you see that new ways of comforting yourself aren't as bad as you think. At the same time, your list will help you turn them into new habits. Trying to think in these ways will help you stop avoiding the issue.

Make everything more organized

What method works best for you? That depends. To answer this question, you must know yourself very well. If you don't, this section can help you figure it out. Even though you don't know what works for you, being organized is important, just like packing for a trip. Spending some time preparing to use the self-soothing techniques in this book will help the process go more smoothly. Organization involves two important steps:

(1) Self-Planning. If you are currently struggling with emotional eating, take some time each morning when you wake up to make a self-plan, a self-soothing prediction for the day. This is a bit like listening to the weather forecast to choose what to wear. If it's cold, bring a sweater; if it's going to be a downpour, bring rain gear to deal with the difficulties you will face. If your self-soothing prediction seems difficult, bring your journal. Also bring the phone numbers of people you want to contact. Bring this book, using reading it as a tool for quick excitement or to enhance desire.

(2) Make a list. Before you begin, make a list of self-soothing techniques to address your current problem. You may already know some methods that have helped you calm down. For example, you could take a nap or spend time engaging in a self-soothing activity instead of eating.

Now take a moment to list your strengths and most successful self-soothing activities. Sometimes, we focus too much on the skills we lack and forget the skills we already possess. If you're unsure what your self-soothing techniques are, recall your most recent bad day. What did you do to make yourself feel better? Write down all the non-food-related ways you cope with bad moods. As you read this book, remember, utilize, or enhance your natural techniques. Perhaps you'll integrate the new techniques you learn in this book into some methods you already use.

Is the hunger emotional or physiological?

How to distinguish their differences

If you're unsure whether your urge to eat stems from genuine hunger or a need for emotional calm or soothing, conduct a quick self-test before you begin eating. Ask yourself if any of the following statements describe your hunger. Then count the number of statements you agree with. Compare whether you agree more with statements about emotional hunger or statements about physiological hunger.

Emotional hunger

Emotional hunger has the following behavioral characteristics:

Your urge to eat starts very quickly and intensely, like an on/off switch. Your hunger level can increase from zero to ten in a very short time.

You are easily influenced by suggestions. (For example, if a colleague wants to go out for donuts, you suddenly think donuts sound good too.)

Your hunger is accompanied by an increase in certain emotions, especially stress.

You can't fully consider your choices. Your hunger is so intense that you don't care what your options are until you've eaten.

Your hunger drives you to eat unconsciously. That is, you don't really taste your food, or you're just eating in an automatic, mechanical way (like unconsciously putting a bag of M&M's into your mouth).

You crave a particular food, like chocolate or fast food. They're just a filling, nothing special.

Satisfaction is hard to achieve; it seems to have nothing to do with whether your stomach is full or empty.

You often have a fleeting thought before you start eating that you might feel guilty afterward. And you often feel guilty right after you finish eating.

Physiological hunger

True physiological hunger is related to blood sugar levels. Therefore, your physiological need for food is based on what you eat and when you eat it.

You notice that your cravings for food gradually increase over time. For example, your hunger increases slowly between breakfast and lunch.

You're looking for something to fill your stomach, and you're accepting different options to satisfy your hunger, rather than craving a particular flavor.

You experienced various physiological hunger signals, such as a rumbling stomach. In extreme cases, you might feel irritable or even have a headache.

When you are full, you will stop eating.

When you eat, you become aware that your body is changing – from hungry to full, and you are experiencing a sense of satisfaction.

You know, satisfying your physical hunger is as basic as fuel; it provides you with nutrition and keeps you moving forward.

You can wait a while before eating, instead of being forced to eat at a specific time, or when you feel the urge or expectation to eat.

Your hunger has nothing to do with guilt. You know you need to eat, and you feel good about eating.

If you agree more with the statements about emotional hunger, then you will benefit more from self-soothing techniques than from eating.